JEFF MAY, Motivational Speaker - "If you want different, do different; You're the change!"
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Are Black Women Settling?

 
 
For as long as I can remember I have always heard the old cliché’: “A good man is hard to find…..especially a good black man!”
 
Well things must have become worse, because some black women have sacrificed the “good” and are just settling for any black man.
 
With the ever-growing number of interracial relationships, many single black women are finding themselves gleaning amidst slim-pickings when it comes to their options of African American men.  Facing the fear of a “brotha shortage”, some single sisters have decided to take any black man rather than have no man at all.
 
Now there is nothing wrong with having a preference.  We should be free to be with whomever we desire regardless of race or ethnicity; without ridicule or unfair judgments.  However, the problem occurs when we sacrifice morals, well-being and self-respect for a particular preference.
 
A good man is defined by what he does and not by what he looks like.  Many black women have allowed the fear of being alone to cause them to compromise what they deserve in a man.  In an effort to avoid fatherless children, empty beds and annoying questions of “why are you still single”, some women have tolerated disrespect, laziness and heartache.
 
We must first find the power and potential within our individual selves before we can begin to look for it in another.  Besides, I’ve never met people who were in happy relationships, who were not happily single first.   When women discover and establish their own self-worth they are able to demand what they deserve and expect from their men.  No man will ever honor and appreciate what you fail to.
It must be understood that there is a big difference between accepting someone’s faults and limitations and settling for less than you are worth. 
 
We settle when we have to make excuses and allotments for the way we allow someone to treat us.
 
Women settle when they are ashamed to admit that they quietly bear the brunt of the household responsibilities, because the men that they are with are not able to operate in their rightful places.
 
Our mothers and sisters are settling when they have to dub the man in their lives as the “step-father” to the children, whom they’ve independently cared for long before this new guy began sleeping over.
 
Ladies settle when they have to coerce, bribe and force their men to go out and work a legitimate job.
 
Unfortunately, you will realize that you have settled when you have invested your self-worth, reputation, peace of mind, happiness and children just to make the man you have appear good.
 
Truly, a good man is hard to find, but it is more costly to attempt to manufacture one—especially when you are short on parts!
 
What do you think?
 

2 Comments to Are Black Women Settling?:

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Mellisa May on Tuesday, June 14, 2011 9:30 PM
I think this is a good follow-up to your post on proper parenting Jeff. In fact, there would be less ‘settling’ if parents would raise their young women and young men to be the individuals they are destined to be. We have to stop living lives of mediocrity. Man, you speak a lot of truths here sir. I cringed at the thought of having to make a man work--and a meager job at that? Oh no! We have to say enough is enough and act like we’ve had enough by moving to higher heights as we set and expect higher standards.
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Scanlan on Saturday, January 16, 2016 11:18 AM
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