The lack of intimacy on the behalf of men has been an enigma for as long as we care to recall.
Unfortunately, unlike other limitations faced by men, this condition can’t be remedied with a simple prescription of Cialis or Viagra. (If life were only as simple as a trip to the local pharmacy!)
No, this is an issue that requires an enormous amount of reprogramming, courage, consistency and patience.
The lack of intimacy has various roots within the lives of men particularly. We were not introduced to intimacy, with its nurturing underscore, until later on in our lives.
Actually, many of us finally realized what intimacy was when we failed to properly provide it to our mates. Sometimes you really don’t understand what you are lacking until it is required of you. And this can and has proven to be extremely damaging to relationships—especially marriages.
For most men, intimacy was not something that was taught or passed down from father to son. As men, we are more prone to learning visually and adequately understanding concepts by applying them.
Growing up I knew that my father loved my mother. Now, he didn’t say those actual words very often. He and Romeo were not from the same school of language. He wasn’t big on flowers and gifts. He lacked the ever-coveted “spontaneous” personality. And in fact, he was not even one of those guys who went over and beyond for birthdays, anniversaries or special occasions.
No, my dad was not much of a Casanova, but I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that he absolutely loved my mother; because when he went out to get milk he always came back.
When he got up on those freezing cold, blue-black Michigan early mornings for work, I knew then that he was dedicated to her.
When he failed to take a sick day in over 20 years, I realized that he would sacrifice all he had for her.
As I watched my father take great care in giving my mother the respect and honor due to her in an effort to serve as an example for my brother and I, it was clear to me that he was truly devoted.
For many men, like my father, the greatest attempts to exhibit intimacy and love came by way of what they did and how they did it for the women in their lives.
They simply did what they knew how to do.
Fortunately, we’ve finally realized that as tremendous as the things they did were, true intimacy is also about how intentions are conceived, telegraphed and received.
The acts of love that my dad and many men have shown throughout history would have been just mere acts of manly deeds if women had received them as such. The deeds and actions shown by men should be nothing short of that which is expected of any real man, however the love and intimacy displayed within those actions must be clearly understood and accepted by the women receiving them.
As men we have the responsibility of making the women in our lives feel as special, loved and appreciated as they are to us; however this must take place before the lights go out in the bedroom.
Intimacy is located within a look, a soft touch, a faint and gentle whisper, a simple note of love and appreciation, a safe and assuring smile, a desirous and playful wink or some random and unexpected change in the normal routine.
Guys, if we intend and purpose true intimacy, then we will effectively telegraph it to the women in our lives and hopefully they will recognize and receive it.
Are you up for erecting intimacy within your relationship?