JEFF MAY, Motivational Speaker - "If you want different, do different; You're the change!"
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If you want Your Man to lead, Get out of the Way

Over the years there has been a desperate call for men everywhere to stand up and take their rightful place as the leaders of our homes and communities.
This call has primarily been the result of dwindling numbers of males represented in the homes and increasing totals within the prison system. Not to mention the lack luster representation we maintain on university and college campuses, as well as a great number who have been labeled and confirmed as being “on the down low”.
Unfortunately, these factors leave us with a smaller portion of men who are finding that they yet have one more obstacle standing in between them and their rightful position as a leader--their woman.
As unbelievable as this may seem, the main thing preventing women from possessing what they’ve been yearning for are themselves.  Some women are just not able to enjoy the security and assurance that they seek, because they won’t simply step aside and allow the men in their lives to do what should come natural.
We cannot ignore the fact that women have had to unfairly bear the brunt of responsibility in our society, however when there is a good man present, there must be some attempt to trust him within that capacity. 
 Ladies, your man must not simply feel like an accessory; something good to have in a time where many are lacking what you have.  But he must feel like he is a vital part of your life as you are in his.
In other words, if you want your man to be all that you need him to be for you, move out of the way and let the man try!
Let us be clear, men need to step up and take more responsibility, accountability and provide stability to the lives that depend on them.  However, in order to allow this process to work, while men are stepping up, women must step aside.
Please understand that stepping aside doesn’t mean you are accepting a position of weakness or unimportance, but when women learn how to step aside, they will find themselves standing beside their men instead of in front of them.
There is nothing more pitiful than a woman having to lead her man.  That is like a person having to drive their own car around.  It’s not only a major burden, but it is extremely detrimental to the one carrying the weight.
No man in his right mind should ever want to be led around, talked to and cared for as if he were a little child.  There should be an inherit desire to become, operate and be treated like the man that God purposed him to be—with or without a woman. 
We must understand that our relationships will not improve until we change the way we relate to one another within the roles that have been established for us.
Although this is not an easy process, it is very pivotal and crucial for the survival of our families.
Our children are witnessing the inability of men and women to understand and be effective in their roles within the family unit.  Furthermore, young girls grow up with a lack of appreciation for what a man can bring to their lives; while our boys don’t adequately measure up to the definition of manhood without the validation of a woman. 
 Thus, we create a generation of women who “don’t need a man” and men who need women to give them permission just to be a man.
It is very important that we trust one another to be the best that we see within each other.
 Ladies, if you don’t have a good man please understand that it was your own decision to be where you are and it’s going to take another decision from you to change where you are.
Now if you do have a good man, trust that you do and allow him to be the great man that you know he can be.
Get out of your own way, so that you can be happy.
You’re the Change!

1 Comment to If you want Your Man to lead, Get out of the Way:

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Rennell Welch on Monday, September 12, 2011 9:20 AM
I have to agree with you. It's hard for women to let go and stop being controlling when we have been forced to lead in areas not designed for us to lead in. I have to admit, it was hard for me to step aside when I came into contact with a real man taking care of his responsibilities. After I was able to get over being in charge all the time, I was finally able to be happy, and a lot more stress free.
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